Zombie Apocolypse
by purpleball1015
Summary: people die because of zombies
1. Chapter 1

**~~ This is my first fanfiction. I love family guy so take it easy on me. Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy, or anything related to it. (Warning: Character death.)~~**

"Brian what are you doing," Stewie said in confusion.

"I'm cleaning myself," Brian replied.

"Why the deuces are you doing it in the dining room where I eat?"

"Well it's what I do all the time. Besides I have seen a guy do the same thing to you."

"Yeah but you have shot a porno in the past."

"Bad come back, plus you didn't deny my accusation."

Stewie's face flushed with anger while Brian walked off with a smirk on his face. The infant's mind filled with thoughts of rage and homicidal images. He planned on killing the unsuspecting dog. The boy went to his room upstairs to plan the dog's demise.

Stewie decided that Brian will die slowly and very painfully. _The dog will die by my hands tonight, he will suffer, and I shall enjoy every moment of his writhing_, the child mused, evilly. That night, he shook the dog food bag and Brian came running down from Peter's room, for the promise of a meal that he would not receive.

"Die stupid dog." POW. The shovel in Stewie's hand made contact with Brian's face with a crushing blow, breaking his nose in the process.

"You stupid ass baby! You broke my nose!" Brian yelled when he came to.

Stewie did not care, so he hit him again, over the head, and his brains went flying everywhere.

**~~ ChibiScotty beta'd my story, and helped me with the story line. ~~**


	2. Chapter 2

**~~ Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy, or zombies. Go Family Guy and zombies bitches. Warning: Insults and ChibiScotty no likey Chris, so she calls him "the little shit". This is our joint project (mainly mine, she only helps with edits, and adding lots of cuss words and insults). Sorry for long A/N. ~~**

Stewie stuffed Brian in a black trash bag and buried him in his sand box so every time he would go play he would know that he killed that dog.

A few days later Peter turned on the T.V. and the reporter was being eaten by Bonnie. "What the hell." Peter yelled in confusion.

Louis ran down stairs in a rush to tell Peter that there were zombies outside.

"Don't worry Louis they cannot get in." Peter said uncomfortably.

"Yes they can you fat stupid bastard there is one up stairs!" The zombie was Neil. Louis saw him in Meg's room.

"Mom" Meg screamed. "Neil is in my room!"

"I know honey," Louis said, voice trembling. "Kill him Peter!"

"Okay" Peter said in an irritated voice. Peter grabbed the shovel, the same one Stewie used to kill Brian, which happened to be inside the living room. With that, no one seemed to notice it "walked inside" by itself.

"Why is there blood on it?" Louis asked suspiciously.

"Who cares mom! Dad, kill him!" Meg screamed. "And why the hell was that dumb son of bitch in my room! Was he trying to rape me as a zombie or what the fuck man!"

Peter walked upstairs and beat the shit out of Neil, killing him in the process (again, since he was a zombie). Chris ran out of bed, and grabbed Stewie from his room, then ran down stairs while crying and panicking, like the little shit he was.

Then Meg turned on the T.V, which had a bunch of different channels to go on to see what the hell was going on. Meg turned it to one of the channels and it was talking about the zombie apocalypse. The reporter gave instructions on how to kill them and to stay behind locked doors. Out of nowhere the power went out, probably from the zombie bastards messing with the power lines, those sons of bitches, messing with my mother fucking T.V!

"What the deuces is going on! Louis, you stupid woman! Change me, I've seemed to have wet myself!" Stewie complained.

Joe rolled his way into the house and gave every one a gun except Stewie (that bastard!). Besides he has his own, he did not need Joe's wimpy ass, useless piece of shit gun.

"Okay everybody this is an emergency, Bonnie is dead and we have to get Quagmire and Cleveland, so road trip!" Joe said, a little too happy for the situation they were currently in.

"Hey, where the hell is Brian, we can't forget him, you assholes!" Louis said in a panic. Stewie just looked away and whistled all nonchalant like, because he's a boss like that.

**~~ Grammar edit done by the awesome author's awesome cousin: ChibiScotty (and a few other edits, because I'm awesome like that, yeah, boss Stewie up in this house ;p) ~~**


	3. Chapter 3

Peter, Joe, and Chris went to Quagmire's house. When they got there they went upstairs and they saw Quagmire tying up an Asian hooker zombie, which is really disgusting, really.

"What the hell are you doing Quagmire?" Peter asked in disgusted voice.

"Well… you know what I have no fucking idea."

"Agh, who cares let's just go before this bitch gets loose and we all die!" Chris said screaming, like a bitch. Every one ran down stairs out the door and back to the Griffin's, somehow still standing, house. When they got there Louis was crying because she saw Brian as a zombie outside with no head, also because she was secretly in love with him, and now he's dead.

Later they all got in their cars safely, after stealing a lot of gas for said cars, and drove to the mall to stock up on food. The zombies were everywhere so they sent the guys in and they were so stupid that they got only frozen foods, the stupid bastards. "Where the hell are we supposed to make this you fucking idiots?" Louis said like if they knew better, which by now she should have known they were too retarded to get something simple right. God, that bitch, she knows that they are stupid as hell!

Everyone but Peter and Joe went inside to get more food. They got all the yucky stuff like peas and carrots and of course Stewie's formula plus his double AA batteries for which Louis says "his toy" guns but everyone knows that they are not toys and that they obviously do serious damage, except Louis of course.

Once they were all done getting food, that was obviously non-perishables, they stuffed it in their trunks and headed to where Cleveland was now staying. When they got there they walked in the door and ran into Cleveland's room.

"What the hell is going on here?" Cleveland said in a sad voice because he knew all his kids were dead, but more importantly the woman who gave him food and sex, his second wife.

"Well almost everyone in Quahog is practically dead so let's go! "Joe yelled.

"What the hell do you mean by practically?" Cleveland asked a little creeped out.

"Well you have seen you kids as zombies, so yeah, zombies are half dead." peter said in a mean voice. Than out of nowhere they all saw Brian, ew.


	4. Chapter 4

~~**warning: another character dies in this chapter~~**

They all freaked out and Louis ran to vomit as well as Meg, like dumb asses. Everyone got in the car and they left that hell hole before they became some ones lunch. When they started to drive, they all crashed coincidently. They all had to go a few feet back to Cleveland's house but of course peter was complaining like it was miles away (fat bastard).

Once they got to the house they all ate dinner and went to sleep while Stewie came up with a plan to bring Brian back to life because he missed him and he needed someone to tuck him in at night. He still had a little blood on him from when he bashed Brian's head in. He got that blood and went all scientific on the world's ass.

_Ah, I have the cure to the zombie apocalypse._

When they all woke up the next morning all the food was gone. "What the fuck happened to our food? Peter did you eat the rest of the food in the middle of the night?" Louis said in a very mad voice.

"Maybe" Peter said in a baby voice trying to be cute so he would not get in to any trouble, but it didn't work because he is a stupid fat ass who ate all the food.

"Damn it peter that food was enough to feed a family of 14 for nine days.

Meg walked in on Chris having sex with a girl he picked up at the mall. He was so furious that he through her out the window. Which is like weird because who would want to have sex with Chris? Anyways Louis heard a splat on the floor and saw Meg lying on the cement while the zombies ran away because no one like Meg not even starving zombies (except Neil, the weird now dead zombie freak thing).

"Meg!" Louis screamed than she started to laugh at how she fell in a stupid position. After that everyone started to yell with joy while Chris continued to have sex upstairs with no regret that he just killed his big sister, who at times helped him, and was nice to him, sometimes. That is just sad, a girl sexing it up with Chris, not Meg dying and no regrets.

Stewie ran out the door to find Brian so he could give him the antidote, which I am surprised there weren't more zombies, really, some zombie apocalypse.

**~~if you read my other chapters and this chapter please leave a review~~**


	5. Chapter 5

**~~ Dear reader this is my last chapter to family guy. ~~**

Stewie called Brian from the front of the house so he can give him the antidote. When he came he shot him with his antidote gun. Brian snapped out of it like that. His head grew back too. "Brian I missed you so much I am so sorry about bashing your head in and making you a zombie."

"It's okay my little gay lord." Brian said in a sarcastic voice

"Good, wait a minute did you call me gay lord."

"Yes you little mother fucker you fucking bashed my head in so I could become a zombie, dumb ass." Brian said all bitchy and mean.

"Oh sorry about that," Stewie said all cute. Brian moaned and went inside for some vodka and weed. When he got inside no one noticed he was alive at all those sons of bitches. Any ways Stewie called Brian so he could go outside.

Brian ran outside, though I do not understand why he would even trust him, and Stewie told him how he made the cure and that the virus was his fault because he messed with his time machine.

Chris told Louis how Meg died and why so Louis pushed that girl out the same window Chris pushed Meg out of. So like a little stupid pussy he started crying, well not just like one, he was one. Because he lost his virginity to that girl and that he wanted to marry her, even though he just met her, and all she wanted was to get laid, and Chris was the only teen guy around.

Any ways Brian told Louis and the other people (but Louis first because he had a little thing for her) how to make the cure so by the end of that month the whole world will be okay and everybody became immune to the virus because Brian went back in time to stop the past Brian from fucking things up like usual, which makes no sense, but it happened.

**~~Dear reader this is my last chapter so check out my next chapters to two and a half men. Sincerely purpleball1015, which will come later, when I actually start writing it. ~~**


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